Surely, we know that any relationship needs work. However, it doesn’t mean that you should constantly fight for happiness or suffer just to please another person. To survive emotionally, you should know what things to take into consideration. Let’s have a look at the list of signs telling your relationship is coming to an end.
Once you feel mutual disrespect has appeared between you both, there are no illusions left. What can be easier than stop feeling affection to somebody disrespecting you? People can continue cohabiting without respecting and realizing each other’s value, which leads to total rejection of the partner’s wishes and needs. But is it worth doing so?
You constantly get offended by your partner’s words or deeds but keep it to yourself. Presumably, you think you are saving your relationship, but in reality, this only prolongs the suffering. Moreover, when you store up all the negative things you have to express, it will inevitably lead to a more painful breaking up. The thing is that offense cannot vanish if the causing factors do not disappear. If it is not expressed but stored up and repressed, it leads to stress and diseases. Of course, the offense is also killing your union, slowly but inevitably.
Here we are talking about a situation when you are telling the partner you love them although you do not feel anything. You do not want to hurt another person; in fact, you do not spare them the pain but only make the situation worse. Sooner or later, the truth will become evident since you cannot constantly lie to your partner and lead a happy life. Moreover, when you feel your relationship is doomed but still continue convincing yourself that “We are happy, I am happy,” it is an escape from reality.
Obsession with another person
If your partner is obsessed with another person, be it a friend or a colleague, and hopes for a closer relationship with them, this is a disturbing sign. Of course, it doesn’t mean that we have to immerse ourselves in each other with no personal space, but an obsession with another person inevitably goes together with suspicions, jealousy, and offenses. Yes, it is obvious that a partner is lacking something in your union, but you are hardly the person who can give that. However, you do not need to change yourself to please another person.
Obsession with exes
Sure, our former partners should be respected, especially if you have common children. But once your partner is in too close a relationship with their ex, it destroys your own relationship. You should still feel you are of primary importance to the partner. Otherwise, a person feels secondary and neglected, which inevitably causes the end.
Your partner compares you to others, who earn more, look more attractive, seem more interesting and cleverer? It is one of the forms of humiliation. If they do not accept you as you are, you definitely shouldn’t waste your time with such people.
It doesn’t matter what caused contempt, failures at work, or a new haircut. Partners have to support each other in any situation, right? Once you feel contempt poisons your everyday life, and your partner doesn’t support you and care about you anymore, why not stop that right away?
Humiliation in public
If your partner has humiliated you in front of others, they are likely to repeat that again. In this respect, it doesn’t matter that they were drunk or depressed.
Public humiliation proves that a person has a deep contempt for themselves. So, it doesn’t matter how much love you give to that person; if they do not decide to change and work on their self-esteem, you can do nothing about it. Nevertheless, it is very difficult for somebody even to admit this fact.
If you do not trust your partner, there is a ground for this. If the reasons are too grave to gain trust again, why stay with this person? Unless you like feeling nervous and anxious about constant control.
If you want to praise your partner for something, you can do it in public, but any bad feedback should be kept for private talks. Criticizing a person in public, you will only insult them and cause an appropriate negative response. Besides, if you are calling your partner names in public or even tell unpleasant jokes, it means that deep inside you are dissatisfied with them and cannot stand it any longer.
Requirements to prove their love
How often do we hear the phrase “If you love me, you should…”? The more times we hear it, the worse for our relationship it is. We cannot manipulate our partner if we really love them. And if we don’t love, the actions other do for us will hardly make us love them.
If you are often looking for excuses to be apart from your partner and consciously trying to avoid contacts and physical intimacy, it is time to get rid of this connection. The reason is that the emotional bond has already been broken and you are trying to softly explain to your partner that it is an end. Why not tell everything directly avoiding all possible doubts and suffering?
Some people believe monogamy is the only acceptable form of relationships, others find it practically impossible. If you have betrayed to gain a new sexual experience, your union may still be saved; but if there exists an emotional connection between you and a new lover, your previous relationship is to be stopped. That is why people, having found out about the betrayal, always ask their partners the same question: “Do you love him/her?” Because exactly emotional connection is the core of a union, and once it has disappeared, you have nothing in common with your partner any longer.
Any kind of addiction
If your partner is alcohol- or game-addicted, a shopaholic or a workaholic, do not create illusions that you will take the first place in your partner’s life and get appropriate emotional feedback.
All in all, conflicts in a relationship may be productive and destructive as well. In the first case, they help to improve the relationship, when the partners openly express their opinions, fears, and desires. In the second case, if people are using conflicts to humiliate each other, the relationship is clearly doomed. Let’s learn to distinguish between these two types of conflicts so that our mental health will always be preserved.