We have been told many times that happiness is a conscious choice. Unfortunately, very often we tend to complicate our life to such an extent that we cannot realize our happiness even when it appears right in front of our eyes. How can we disperse this fog of uncertainty and get to know what true happiness is?
Here are 10 things you need to sacrifice to be happy.
Stop caring about others’ thoughts about you.
Yes, it may seem strange and useless to you, because a human is a social being that doesn’t want to be lonely. But there is no use always paying attention to what others think about you. It is a waste of force and time. It is not only difficult and virtually impossible but also useless to make others think about you in a positive way only. And in general, why do others’ thoughts matter to you?
In psychological respect, this phenomenon is explained by “the footlights effect.” The footlights effect is a phenomenon when people have a tendency to believe that others tend to notice them more than it is in reality. Taking into consideration the fact that every person is a center of their own universe, it is very hard to evaluate to which extent people notice each other. This effect is explained by the point that a human tends to forget that although he/she is a center of his/her own world, they are not the center of other people’s world.
The simplest example of this effect is that in everyday life, people are absolutely indifferent to your outlook when you are going to university or office. The majority of people won’t even notice how you look. You are in the center of attention much less often than you think. That is why you can stop worrying about outer life attributes. Do not buy an expensive car or a smartphone just to seem cool within your colleagues’ circle: you can see it another way, but the majority of them don’t care about your possessions at all. They are busy with their own problems.
Don’t try to please everyone.
You are the master of your own fate. If you confidently act in accordance with your beliefs, you will definitely attract people. Not all of them but only those that are meant to be by your side. Remember the saying, “If you were an angel, there would always be a person who dislikes the rustling of your wings.”
Do not take part in spreading rumors.
You should always bear in mind that people sharing fresh rumors with you would taste the rumors about you as well. Never believe rumors, it is just naive to believe things you are not sure about.
Stop taking everything too seriously.
Again, the footlights effect teaches us that the world doesn’t revolve around us. The majority of other people’s deeds don’t concern us at all, so you do not need to react to them.
Our energy flows where our thoughts are directed. Worrying means to waste time and energy on thoughts about things we would like to avoid. Isn’t it better to use this energy to prevent these things? If it is impossible, just forget about it.
Get rid of the feeling of mistake and danger.
When we are treating ourselves too seriously, we start thinking that all people around us are just waiting for our mistakes. It is enough. Just be yourself and do not look so harsh and serious. Nobody is watching you. In any case, not so attentively. Remember the footlights effect from the first paragraph?
Stop living in the past.
We all have experienced unpleasant situations, we are not ideal, that is why we’ve made mistakes despite all parents’ pieces of advice, and sometimes our life was a real hell. You haven’t listened to your parents then, so why are you constantly recollecting their words now? You should know that everything that doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. The same about mistakes. Every mistake we make contributes to our experience and even negative experience matters. Because life consists of black and white stripes, right?
If you continue storing up anger in your soul, sooner or later it will melt a hole in it. So, get rid of it, and don’t let negative emotions spoil your life. Communicate your feelings to others, do not be afraid to tell what and why you dislike. This way, you won’t need to hide something inside and feel anxious about it.
Stop spending money in an attempt to buy happiness.
It is really true that you do not need all these things. Spending money on things that take too much place in our houses, we are simply complicating our life. Sometimes, the less we have, the better we live.
In terms of psychology, this point can be explained by “the focus effect”. People overestimate the meaning of things and phenomena they are thinking about.
Nothing in our life matters as much as it seems
Salespeople make great use of this effect. They are trying to convince us that if you buy this or that product you will become happier. But this is hardly true. Such happiness quickly vanishes as people start thinking about new ways to impress others.
To fight this psychological effect, you have to realize one simple principle: nothing will matter as much in a year or even a week as it does now. Take life and its problems easier. And, yes, you have to put up with the fact that people are not able to predict the future. That is why it is better to stop making long-term plans not to feel disappointed later.
Stop trying to control everything
Control is just an illusion. In fact, the surrounding world is no way under our control. That is why it becomes much easier to live once we accept this fact. Learn to accept positive changes and cope with negative ones as soon as possible. Most importantly, let go things and people that are not meant for you. Let things happen and people come to you. The secret is that what is yours will always find the way back to you.